Simple Darthipedia:I am supergeeky1 - And so can YOU!
}}} | class="ooumb-hidable-button" | |} }}} Oh, hello there. It's supergeeky1. Nice of you to drop by. If it isn't my old friend, . It's been a while . So how are the kids? Samantha needs her wisdom teeth pulled? Oh, I had that done when I was younger. Real pain in the ass. And Thomas is having soccer game in an hour? You want me to come? Well, I dunno... I have to, erm... walk my dog and... stuff. And yeah, if I did come, who would write this article? You wanna know what it's about? Well why didn't you say so?! The article is an essay on how to be like me. ... What? I can't have an essay about me? I mean, don't you wanna be like me, ? Who wouldn't wanna be like me?! You better read this article. I'm dedicating too much time to this essay for it to only be read by some anon. Yeah, that's right you're gonna miss Thomas' game for this. So just pull up a fucking chair already, grab a cup of joe (no, not that Joe) and let's get to it, shall we? The basics So you wanna be supergeeky1, eh? Well that's the first thing you need to learn: The REAL supergeeky1 has no aspirations in life, therefor he wants to be no one other than himself. So before we begin, I strongly suggest you drop your urge of being like supergeeky1. That means you're only reading this article because you have too much time on your hands. See? You're becoming like supergeeky1 already. The real supergeeky1 always has too much time on his hands. Congratulations, you just passed your first step and you're already on your way to being Darthipedia's favorite troll. The steps Now we move on to the fun stuff: the five-step program to being supergeeky1. Step 1: Always have an extremely high self-esteem and think everything you do is god-like It's no secret that supergeeky1 is always full of himself. When stating his own name, supergeeky1 never uses a capital S''', always a lowercase '''s. Additionally, the 1 is there for a purpose. If someone refers to you as any of the following: *supergeeky *Supergeeky *Supergeeky1 You must cry out at said user in a fit of rage for slandering your good name. When entering the IRC, you shall never join in on a current discussion; instead, you should always start a new conversation even if it means you end up talking to yourself as the other users around you continue their discussion. You may also wish to make promises of new articles and even online documentaries, promises of which you have no plans of going through with. Your fellow users will be so excited you're working on a new project that when you casually forget all about it over the next several months, they will too! Now that we've completed the first step, it's time to move on to the second: the creation of a fake girlfriend. Step 2: Sex, Lies and More Lies In an attempt to boost self-confidence, supergeeky1 created a girlfriend for himself appropriately named Miss Geeky. While her actual existence has been debated for quite some time, (with some even believing her to be a Jewish mail-order bride, perhaps even Linda Mancia) sources close to us have many reasons to believe her backstory was a complete fabrication on supergeeky1's part. Nonetheless, whether you have a girlfriend in real life or not, (and since you are on this site, you more than likely don't), you must make up her backstory anyway. The real supergeeky1 claimed Miss Geeky was a former girlfriend's best friend in High School that he ended up re-meeting at his workplace. While it is strongly urged you stick to this story, changing parts of it are allowed. Additionally, supergeeky1 claims to be 26. More sources close to us inform us that he is in fact a 16 year-old Irish boy living with his parents. As a general rule, fabricating your own age is suggested. Now it's time for us to move on to the next step: spam. Step 3: You don't say ham, you say spam - spam is real spiced ham! Nice fried! The administrators are sad to report that this step does not exist. Nor will it ever. However, supergeeky1 has been known to post certain images of mauled vaginas available on Encyclopedia Dramatica in public channels such as #halopedia. While we would never encourage such behavior, randomly joining and posting said image under names of random users is beyond our control. **cough** Step 4: POWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This next step is absolutely crucial. To obtain full-fledged supergeeky1-dom, you must make preparations to take over your local wiki. Of course, by "make preparations", we mean "make empty threats to the founder". When we say crucial, we mean crucial... If you are permabanned — and believe me, you will be — don't worry. All you have to do is start befriending the other administrators of said wiki and act as if you can serve of high importance on the site. And really, if you're being like supergeeky1, you serve absolutely no importance anywhere. Step 5: Uh... Finally, for step five, you must forget there's a step five. The author of this article has no idea on what else to add, so, um... yeah... Congratulations! If you've read this far into this essay, not only are you a genius/supergeeky1-fan, you're a certifiable train wreck! Thank you for taking the time to read this and have a very wonderful day! Quiz time To fully pass the supergeeky1 test, you must answer the following questions here. Create a new section and upon completing the quiz, you will be awarded with your very own plaque from supergeeky1 himself! #How long did it take you to realize this essay made no mention of Christian Bale? #In what year was Christian Bale born? #In what film did Bale portray Bobby, the retarded zoophile? #If you have five dollars and Christian Bale has five dollars, Christian Bale has ____ _____ ____ ___. #Two trains leave different cities heading toward each other at different speeds. When and where do they meet? #*Train A, traveling 70 miles per hour (mph), leaves Westford heading toward Eastford, 260 miles away. #*At the same time Train B, traveling 60 mph, leaves Eastford heading toward Westford. #**When do the two trains meet? #**How far from each city do they meet? #What is the greatest film of all time? #How do you defend yourself against a man with two dildos?